Why I am not unhappy because of Portland

Yes, I've been chronically depressed the last few months. I dutifully waited out the thryoid med adjustments, but things were not getting better. I was less tired physically, but still emotionally drained and unable to be the parent or student I want to be. I finally decided this wasn't working for me or my family and asked to try a low does of an anti-depressant. Best thing I did. EVER. It took a while, but in the past few weeks I've actually begun to enjoy Martin over the past few weeks. And I'm beginning to be able to engage in my research/exam prep for school.

My hunch is the depression is a result of genetic predisposition + thyroid + late onset PPD. But, it turns out, it may just be that I live in the most unhappy place in the US! According to Business Week, Portland is the most unhappy city in the U.S. And apparently everyone else is reveling in the fact that they are not the most unhappy city because I have recieved several inquiries about this piece of news.

I find this completely hilarious - everyone here is nice and kind. You would not think of people as unhappy. If the local tv news is any indication (which I tend to only marginally trust), most people in this city agree with me. I wish I was still in classes just so I could tell you what all of the urbanites and public health people had to say. Instead, I only have my take to give.

According to BW, "the most heavily weighted factors were the depression, suicide, jobs (unemployment and job loss), and crime rates." While we probably do have the most days of rain - 222 - (except for Seattle which ranked 20th), there is some indication that Portland is ranking number one because they are the #1 depressed city, #12 or so in suicide (but that is a western city versus eastern city thing), and has historically higher than average unemployment (7.8% in Dec and rising) because many people are willling to be underemployed or unemployed to stay in the area. Throw in a #4 in divorce - that explains all the 30 something singles hanging around "finding themselves, " no offense 30 something single friends - and I think somehow we manage in the authors composite score to be the most unhappy place on earth.

I have a hard time believing that Portlanders are more depressed than some of the other places I've lived. I've actually lived in 3 of the top ten. Las Vegas, the #7 unhappy city, shows a depression ranking of 42 but a #1 suicide ranking. Another top 10 unhappy city, Detroit - somewhere it seemed everyone was down or had reason to be - has a depression rank of 43. Really? Portland versus Detroit?

The only way I can explain it is to note that their depression rank is gleaned from insurance/discharge info. It is possible that rain does make seasonal depression more likely. And certainly if the divorce rate is that high, that would make depression also more likely. I do think that Portlanders take their mental health very seriously. There is little stigma regarding seeing a therapist, etc.

So why do I actually find the thought of LEAVING Portland depressing? Where else am I going to live where....

1. I can walk Martin 5 blocks to the local library for storytime for 12-23 month olds... where at least 4 dads are usually in attendance and yet nobody thinks twice about nursing their older toddler... as long as I'm 10 minutes early because it is always PACKED

2. I can walk across the street and down 3 doors to Yoga a couple of times a week.

3. I can join a coop swap shop - a space of 4 or so rooms filled with toys and comfy coaches to visit with moms, 1 with clothes, and 1 with art supplies. Martin can play with the toys yet we don't have to bring the big stuff home. And if he falls in love with a toy, we can take it and bring something comparable (or that same one if he decides he doesn't like it - or if I find it annoying) back the next week.

4. There is THE BEST produce at the farmers stand or at one of the two locally owned grocery stores within a mile or so of the house

5. I can walk to just about any "type" of food, including the waffle window, great mexican, good family friendly sushi, good fish (including local oysters) and chips, the breakfast biscuit place, you get the picture

6. I can also walk to Fred Meyer for those funky non grocery type of things - and the Fred Meyer along with every other grocer and pharmacy carries Planet laundry detergent or good substitutes

7. Nobody looks at me like I'm crazy when wearing Martin... or changing Martin's cloth diapers... or washing Martin's cloth diapers in a community laundry room

8. The best birthing choices

9. Buses run outside my door, cars actually pay attention to bicyclists, and a car-share program is never more than 5 blocks away

10. Our neighbors bring in our bikes if we forget

11. I can get any movie across the street

12. Snow is considered very abnormal (although I could use a little less drama the few times it does fly, much less sticks)

13. Spring comes NOW... all the buds are peaking through

14. I tell people I study urban planning issues and they don't look at me like I'm speaking a foriegn language

15. I get to go to church in a lovely old building

16. When discussing uplifting and 'clean' language with the YW on a Sunday, they wonder why I also list racial/gender slurs as language we should avoid - because it is so culturally inappropriate that they would never think to do that

17. Blackberries

18. The colorful houses

19. Rain (believe it or not). It makes things so green. And the mist is kind of endearing once you have the appropriate gear. It also makes the clearings which happen at least every couple of days magically beautiful

Seems like I should round it out with a #20. The great zoo or parks perhaps. I'm sure I am forgetting things, but these are those that immediately come to mind. It really is a lovely place to live. Regardless of when we leave, I am going to miss it very much.